I feel like I am a new person. I used to be a small derivative of who I am now. I am still a non-confrontational version of myself 10 years ago, but I am learning (slowly, but surely) to assret myself. It's hard and weird to do without a support group. I thought I was doing it before, but I was completely saturated in jagermeister. I am not saying I am dry as a bone, but I have my wits about me more so than I did then. I need to recognize the phenomenon that when I hear a good song, I kind of wanna crawl into a cave that it's OK to spaz out in. I hear about musicians that I really love and I want to take their albums into the woods and crank them the FUCK up. Listening to Bowie or the Talking Heads at normal levels isn't in my vocabulary. I just can't understand people that are OK playing music at moderate levels and be alright with it. all I want to do is have the same music in a greater capacity playing crisper, clearer, louder...